Sunday, February 17, 2008

Signs of interest and Flirting/Ab Exercises/Sex & Food

5 signs she’s into you
By Chelsea Kaplan

Let’s be honest: Sometimes it’s tough to tell if your date’s just being nice, or if she’s really into you. So if you need help sussing out your lady love’s true feelings, check out these pointers from Greg Hartley, former Army Special Forces interrogator and author of I Can Read You Like a Book: How to Spot the Messages and Emotions People Are Really Sending With Their Body Language. Who knew your date’s smile, complexion and even where she places her handbag can reveal whether she considers you friend or boyfriend material?

Five signs your date is into you…

1. She tilts her head
“When a woman sees and feels especially comfortable with a man, she will tilt her head,” Hartley says. A tilt in any direction — right, left or down — are all signs that she’s interested in getting to know you better—say, over another date.

2. She takes a sip when you take a sip
When a woman is drawn to a guy, she’ll instinctively mirror his actions, Hartley says. While men do this, too, women are more likely than men to first begin the copying. What should you look for? “You might notice she will shift her body in the same direction as yours or take your lead for behavior changes like picking up a glass to drink or blinking her eyes repeatedly if you’re doing so,” he suggests. If you want to test her, lean forward and see if she comes closer, too.

3. She twirls her hair
Since the beginning of time, a woman’s hair has been celebrated as a symbol of her sexuality (does the story of Samson and Delilah ring a bell?). And it’s true today, says Hartley: If your date begins twirling or playing with her hair while talking to you, it is a good sign she’s into you and subconsciously trying to attract you.

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4. She gets a glow
While blushing often means embarrassment, don’t assume that her rosy cheeks are an indication of discomfort. When a woman is sexually aroused and attracted, blood flows not only to her nether regions, but also to her face, which causes her cheeks to get redder, Hartley explains. And if your date is smitten, he adds, her lips and even eyelids will get fuller, too, he says.

5. Her pupils dilate
While your gaze is fixed on her, pay particular attention to her pupils, advises Hartley. “When a woman is attracted to a man, her pupils will dilate,” he notes. “Essentially, the body does this in order to allow itself to take in more of a good thing.”

…and five signs your date is not into you

1. She crosses her arms
Did she assume the angry librarian stance? “When a woman on a date places her hands in front of her body — especially if they are crossed — she is closing herself off from the man,” Hartley notes. If you get this red flag, you don’t stand a chance… and she wants you to know it. “Men are not nearly as perceptive as women, so even if she’s not consciously aware of it, a woman knows her body language needs to be very loud,” Hartley explains. “In this instance, that body language reads loud and clear.”

2. She places her bag between your two
“When I ask male friends how a blind date went, step-by-step, and they say‘she put her bag on the table,’ I always know that’s a bad sign,” Hartley says. If your date places her purse — a real and physical barrier — between you two, she’s showing she wants to create distance, he says. Not a good sign.

3. She speaks faster than an auctioneer
So she seems to love talking to you? Before you break open the bubbly, note the speed of her small talk. “Romantic conversation does not occur at the same speed as business conversation,” Hartley says. “Conversation between two people who are attracted typically slows to about three-quarter speed and softens. In fact, most emotional conversation — with the exception of very hostile conversation — is at a slowed cadence.” That said, she may be nervous early in your first date, and her nerves can cause her to spit her sentences out rapid-fire. But if by the end of the evening she’s still going at a rapid rate, consider it a clue that she just wants to be friends at best.

4. She offers you a chin-up smile
Though it’s tempting to interpret any old smile as a sign of interest, all smiles are not created equal. Smiles can say a lot— “I’m polite,” “I’m crazy about you,” and, believe it or not, “I can’t stand you.” The secret to decoding what her smile really means? It’s all in the chin placement. A woman who gives you a relaxed, chin-down “soft smile” is smitten and wants you to dig her back, Hartley explains. A full-on toothpaste grin or stiff and polite smile — both of which generally involve the chin raised up — mean either “I like you as a friend” or “I wanna get out of here!”

5. She strokes her neck
If your date’s telling you she agrees that you should get together again, that’s a good sign, right? Maybe, says Hartley. “Her body language may be the key to the real truth,” he says. “If a woman is gently stroking her neck when telling you this, it may be a sign that she’s interested, but it is also known to be a sign of lying.” To figuring out which message she’s sending, consider the aforementioned “she’s not into you” signals. If she’s also giving you the raised-chin smile and speaking to you over a giant purse, you may want to move on to your next prospect.

Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor of and regularly appears as a guest on XM Radio’s “Broadminded.” Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at For the other side of this story, read 5 signs he’s into you.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine,

5 signs he’s into you
By Chelsea Kaplan

Having trouble figuring out your guy’s level of interest in you? Sometimes, the proof is in his body language. To understand what your honey’s movement, eye contact and even posture reveal about his true feelings for you, check out these hints from Greg Hartley, former Army Special Forces interrogator and author of I Can Read You Like a Book: How to Spot the Messages and Emotions People Are Really Sending With Their Body Language.

Five signs your date is into you…

1. He closes the distance
“First and foremost, moving in closer indicates a desire for more intimate contact,” Hartley says. So if a guy you’re talking to at a party inches a little closer as you talk, or your date slides into the same side of the booth as you, you know he wants to get to know you better—and not as a friend.

2. He speaks softly
When a man talks in a quieter voice, it’s an excellent sign, Hartley explains. “He’s indicating that what he’s saying is for your ears only,” he says. “If he’s telling you something private or secret, it’s a good thing—guys don’t do that to women they’re not into.” If you want to let that soft-talker know you feel the same way, respond in kind, which should quickly turn those sparks into an all-out fire. Caveat: If you’re in a loud bar or restaurant, where you have to shout to be heard, you can’t tell anything by his decibel level. So wait until you’re walking or driving home to see whether he’s turned the volume down.

3. He rounds his posture
Hypermasculine body language (think: swaggering walk, standing tall with shoulders back and chin up, etc.) serves to attract women from a distance. But when a guy is talking close-up with a woman he likes, he will soften, or “round” his body language, Hartley notes. If your guy’s squared shoulders cave in when he’s chatting with you, he’s indicating that he feels comfortable and secure in your presence.

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4. He talks slowwwly
Like birds in a mating dance, men typically talk more slowly and softly when they are attracted to someone, Hartley explains. Of course, if he knocked back a few gigante lattes on a first date, he may be too wired (and nervous) to sound like Barry White, but give it time: If his speech starts to make you feel sleepy, he’s a goner.

5. He can’t take his eyes off you (in a good way)
So his eyes are locked on yours? As long as it isn’t a psycho stare, but rather a lingering, heavy-lidded, “Wow, you’re amazing” gaze, that guy is digging you big-time, Harley says.

…and 5 signs your date isn’t into you

1. He’s four feet away
If his motto may as well be The Police’s “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”, he’s not feelin’ you romantically, Hartley says. How do you define “distance”? “If he remains four feet or more away from you, it is a clear signal that’s his heart’s not in it,” says Hartley.

2. He stands at an oblique angle facing you
“Most men do not realize that when talking to another man, we stand at oblique angles, with one shoulder facing the other’s face, yet when we talk to women — especially ones we’re interested in romantically — we stand face-to-face with them,” Hartley says. If your guy’s shoulder is pointing in the direction of your face during conversation, he’s subconsciously showing disinterest or is trying to turn you off, Hartley explains.

3. He sounds like that guy in accounting
If your date is talking to you like you’re someone at the office — meaning the pace is quick and the level of his voice is rather strong — “he’s probably just trying to keep it to friend level,” Hartley says. With time, you might notice a change — after all, he just might want to keep it “professional” on the first date or two while he gets to know you — but if it remains this way after a few dates, cut your losses.

4. He stares at your mouth
When a guy focuses on your lips, what he’s really trying to do is avoid eye contact, Hartley explains. “If he’s avoiding eye contact, you can pretty safely assume he’s not into you,” he asserts. If your date fixes his gaze below your face, he’s probably interested in you, but perhaps not for a long-term relationship, if you know what we mean…

5. He’s out of sync with your body language
When a guy is romantically interested in you, he will mimic your body language, so if he doesn’t copy you, gesture for gesture, odds are he isn’t smitten, Hartley says. To test the waters, try leaning in closer to you date, using your hands to emphasize what you’re saying. If your guy does the same, it’s a great sign. But if he keeps his hands still, pulls away or takes a step backwards, he may be unavailable or just plain not interested.

Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor of and regularly appears as a guest on XM Radio’s “Broadminded.” Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at For the other side of this story, read 5 signs she’s into you.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine,

Amazing Abs Exercises
Mix up your core routine with the moves that will get you a six-pack
By the Editors of Men's Health

Abdominal exercises themselves will not burn fat, but you want to strengthen your abs so they're there to show off when the fat does vanish. Build a strong core and your abdominals will pop out of your midsection the way Tara Reid pops out of a dress.

These abdominal exercises can serve as the ultimate abdominal reference manual, and we've also included new exercises. The best part about these exercises is that you can treat them like a good wardrobe—mix and match them, change them from workout to workout, try ones you've never tried before, and construct your own circuit from any of the exercises. All you have to do is follow these guidelines:

Work out your abs 2 or 3 days a week

Abs develop when they're at rest, not when you're working them. So working them every day doesn't give them a chance to grow and get strong. You will develop abs by working them two or three times a week. I'd recommend adding the ab circuit to the beginning of your strength-training workout. Saving them until the end of the workout means there's more possibility that you'll skimp and take shortcuts.

Pick different exercises every workout

There are hundreds of ways to work your abs, but you need to pick only five exercises each workout. The key is variety: Changing your routine doesn't allow your abs to get comfortable, so they'll continue to grow after each workout.

Do a circuit

In the first week of workouts, do just one set of each of your five exercises. (A set is 10 to 15 repetitions, depending on the exercise.) In the second and third weeks, do two sets if you'd like, but perform them in circuits—that is, do all of the exercises once before repeating any of them. After that, you can increase to three circuits.

Go slow

Each rep of an ab exercise should last slightly longer than Richard Hatch's fame—4 to 6 seconds. Any faster, and you run the risk of letting momentum do the work. The slower you go, the higher the intensity. The higher the intensity, the stronger the stomach.

Pick any five exercises from the following sections. Perform in a circuit with no more than 30 seconds of rest (1 minute in some cases)—one exercise followed by the next. Rest. After Week 1, repeat the circuit. Some exercises use such equipment as medicine balls, dumbbells, or cable machines—and with some of the more advanced moves, you'll need a partner. If you're just starting out, pick beginner exercises. As you progress (using a smaller number of repetitions or eliminating equipment) to get the feel of more advance moves.

Steam Engine

Stand with your hands behind your head. Touch your left elbow to your right knee by bending and raising the knee while crunching your left armpit toward your right hip. Return to the starting position and repeat to the opposite side, crunching your right armpit toward your left hip.

16-20 repetitions (Beginner)

Toe Tap

Lie on your back and place your hands behind your ears. Lift your legs until your knees are above your hips and your lower legs are parallel to the floor. Press your lower back against the floor and crunch forward until your shoulders are off the floor. With your toes pointed down, lower your right foot as far as you can without lifting your back off the floor. Return to the starting position and repeat with your left leg.

10 repetitions (Beginner to intermediate)

Seated Twist

Sit on the floor, your back straight but leaning slightly toward the floor, as if in the "up" position of a situp. Your knees should be bent 90 degrees, your feet about 15 inches apart and resting on the floor. (Your feet can either stay flat or you can raise your toes so that just your heels are touching the floor.) Hold a medicine ball close to your chest, rotate your torso to the left, and place the ball on the floor behind you. Rotate around to the right, pick up the ball, rotate left, and place it behind you.

16-20 repetitions (Intermediate)

Single-Leg Wood Chop

Hold a light dumbbell in your left hand with a straight arm, above your shoulder. Bend your right knee 90 degrees to lift your right foot behind you. Balancing on your left leg, forcefully swing the dumbbell down toward your right hip. (Don't move it behind you.) Then bring it back to the starting position. Do half the repetitions, then switch sides.

16-20 repetitions (Intermediate)

Medicine Ball Throw

Holding a light medicine ball in both hands, lie faceup on the floor with your back flat and your knees bent. Extend your arms beyond your head so the ball is just above the floor. Your partner sits 5 to 10 feet in front of you with his feet flat on the floor, knees bent, and arms straight overhead so he's ready to catch your pass. Keeping your arms straight, curl your body up and throw the ball to your partner's hands. Remain in the sitting position. After he catches the ball, he should throw the ball back to you. Lower yourself as you catch it.

12-15 repetitions (Intermediate to advanced)

Swiss Ball Stability Pose

Lie facedown across two Swiss balls. Your body should be straight, with your chest lying on the first ball and your knees and shins resting on the other. With your feet spaced 12 to 18 inches apart, place your hands on the floor for balance and hold the position for 60 seconds. As you gain strength, place your hands on the side of the ball, or hold your arms out in front of you.

2 sets of 60 seconds (Intermediate to advanced)
Nutrition: Food For Fitness
Flat Belly in 8 Weeks

Have Sex for Dessert
A meal that leads to bed—but not for sleep
By the Editors of Men's Health

More on this in Health & Fitness

Your Valentine's Day Survival Guide
Your Seduction Menu
Get the Girl of Your Dreams

What fuels great sex? The clichéd stimulants, such as oysters and avocados, "aren't necessarily valid aphrodisiacs," says Barry Swanson, Ph.D., a professor of food science at Washington State University. Follow our menu for a libido-lifting, energy-boosting three-course meal that will guarantee she stays for breakfast. Bon appétit!

Your catch of the day starts here...



Drink: A glass of red wine

Why: Grape skins contain the antioxidant resveratrol, the closest thing we have to an actual aphrodisiac. It increases estrogen production, say Northwestern University researchers, and that heightens sexual appetite and makes lubrication easier for her later in the evening.

Red wines from muscadine grapes have a higher resveratrol content than other reds do, say researchers at Mississippi State University.

But too much vino in too little time forces the body to absorb the alcohol quickly, causing drowsiness.

Appetizer: Shrimp cocktail

Why: The zinc-dense shrimp increase sperm levels and make orgasms more powerful, according to a study in Fertility and Sterility. They also contain a stress-reducing amino acid and the feel-good hormone serotonin.


Entrée: Filet mignon au poivre (6 oz)

Why: High-protein foods boost production of dopamine and norepinephrine, hormones that increase alertness and assertiveness.

Eating too much (and this goes for everything on the menu) can trigger your body to release cytokines—hormones that induce sleep.

Black pepper aids digestion, according to an Indian Journal of Medical Research study—helpful for any energetic activities after dinner.

Side: Baked sweet potato

Why: It's high in potassium, which helps reduce stress—a great way to curb performance anxiety later that night. "The thing to avoid is dumping on a lot of salt, because the sodium can inhibit the potato's potassium," says Swanson.

Top the potato with a dollop of sour cream, another source of libido-friendly protein.

Side: Spinach salad

Why: Spinach is a potent source of magnesium, which helps dilate blood vessels, ensuring the smooth bloodflow that's crucial for strong erections, according to Japanese researchers.


Dessert: Fresh raspberries drizzled with melted dark chocolate

Why: British scientists have discovered that women release four times more endorphins after eating chocolate than they do after making out. The caffeine in chocolate also increases your alertness for what's to come after dessert.

Try using Chocolove's Extra Strong Dark Chocolate (77 percent cacao) on the raspberries, and pair them with a glass of port. You'll get a double dose of polyphenols—antioxidants that increase your HDL (good) cholesterol.

Recipe for Seduction

Seal the deal with these three dinner moves

1. Strategize Your Seating
Arrange the table so she'll sit with her back to the wall. "She'll feel like all your attention is focused on her instead of wandering about the room," says Joy Davidson, Ph.D., author of Fearless Sex.

2.Don't Hurry to the Table
Meeting her at your front door with the food already on the table can be awkward. Instead, greet her with a glass of wine, give her a quick tour, and then seat her near the counter to watch you prep.

3.Skip the Movie
"Rushing isn't sexy," says April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League. Time-sensitive activities, like going to the movies, are better for when you're not tied to a stove.

Provided by Men's Health

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